2005-08-9 - 1:53 p.m.
I've got to stop thinking about how fucking hot and humid it is. Every time i leave home i think about how fucking hot and humid it is.
To make matters worse the beginning of school is just 3 weeks away, and theres no way to stop it from coming.
I wasted this summer, i had no plans. and i've accomplished nothing. Not that i wanted to accomplish shit anyway. I'm not with that i need to do, or be, bullshit.
I'm to lazy to do to much of anything that takes to much time to do.
I wanted to get into doing some carpentry shit, we have a garage full of carpentry shit, saws, wood and shit. I did start working on building a nice wall case shit, but after banging nails and shit for about an hour i gave that shit up.
The fucking shit wouldn't stand straight, and its not like i can do the fucking simple math needed to cut, and nail the pieces together, i think its just one of those fucking carpentry mysteries that only a carpenter know and i really don't give a fucking rat ass knowing about.
Fuck that carpentry shit.
I did enjoy every minute of time i lounged around the house, pool, lake, woods, and shit. but with summer vacation almost over i feel like i wasted precious time.
It ridiculous i know but i can't seem to shake the feeling that i should have done something over the summer, not that i would have wanted to do something if i had something to do. I don't like doing shit i don't want to do, especially if i have to do it.
I think its because moms and i had these big plans about traveling around the world during the summer months and we didn't go anywhere. Not that that's really the problem, i don't think i wanted to go anywhere anyway.
Why go somewhere else to see great shit, when i have a beautiful lake and woods right in my backyard.
Shit i'm a city boy living in the woods, with a row boat to row on my own beautiful small lake. Woods to walk, ride, into. Birds and shit in the tree, what on Gods green Earth can be as beautiful as walking out of my house into my yard. Nothing can.
So why do i feel like i've wasted my summer vacation when i did exactly what i wanted to do, exactly what i enjoyed doing, exactly where i wanted to do it.
Maybe its because moms kept bugging the shit out of me about doing something instead of chilling out like i wanted to do. I wasted a fucking lot of time thinking about what i could do to get her off my fucking back.
That explains why i didn't have as much time to enjoy myself as i wanted to, i had to think about finding shit to do that i didn't want to so now i feel like i didn't do what i wanted to do, but the fact is i did do exactly what i wanted to do, i only had to think about doing shit i never did do and that's why i feel like i didn't do shit, and yet i did do a lot this summer, i enjoyed myself this summer so i'm not gonna let the feeling that i didn't do shit, make me feel like i didn't do shit when i did do a lot of shit.
Ok i feel like a fucking dog chasing his tail.
DINOBOY
