2005-06-01 - 10:50 a.m.
After eating breakfast with moms and after she left, i went to are back yard to finish sipping my coffee and contemplate the upcoming day.
When i opened my eyes it was 9:15am and to late to go to school....ha.ha.ha
FUCK IT, afterall diaryboy we only have 17 more days of school left anyway, Come to think about it, maybe i'll miss a few more days. Its not that i don't like school because unlike most students i do like going to school. I think its all about the grades. Those who don't get good grades, probably don't like school much. Those of us who do good, DO.
Anyway i've meant to write Saturday and Sunday and especially the night of Memorial day because a lot of nice shit happened to me. But what the fuck it would take 100,000 words to say it all the way i write.
But i did meet Lisa parent and like always i charmed them, and they seem to like me. All parents like me.
Well ok, some don't....
Anyway things have been going good between me and Lisa but we still haven't bumped and grind. I haven't pushed it but this weekend, im gonna push real hard. Shes so beautiful and sexy that i don't wanna rush it and fuck it up. The truth is im afraid that once i get a piece of ass im gonna convince myself that i want out of what we have. I don't know why but i seem to do that everytime things are going ok, i look for the worse and convince myself that i don't want what i do what. And then something outside of my powers come along and bust's the shit up for me.
I'm not gonna let that happen this time!!!
All these fucking jerks walk around with the same girlfriend convinced that they are in love, with their happy smiles and having someone to talk to and be with so why the fuck don't i have it. They ain't shit but they have. Now i want mines. I want to be in a relationship, in love, with someone to call and talk to everyday.
WHAT the fuck am i talking about, i don't really wanna be having someone to talk to everyday, do i diaryboy? I don't know if i can stand having someone around me everyday. Shit i don't even have moms around me that much and i like her company. But fuck it, i do want that diaryboy. I like it when Lisa calls and asks me that stupid question, that she's already asked me 20 times.
What you doing?
At first i thought i should tell her to stop asking me what the fuck i'm doing, since its obvious i picked up the phone and i'm talking to her.
But the other day she called me and i knew she was gonna ask what i was doing and when she did, i said that i was thinking of her. I felt kind of stupid and kiddish, and corny, but after we talked and i thought about it. i liked it. I like thinking of her.
Dare i say it again diaryboy?
I think i'm in love. NO, i know i'm in love and i like it. and i want it, and i need it. Well i don't need it but i want to want it and want to need it because since i'm thinking about her most of the time i may as well be in love with her.
RIGHT?
Anyway i fell asleep and when i woke she had left a voicemail asking me where i was, i called her cell which i'm sure she will check when she changes class and when she can she will call me back. I told her what happened and told her she should skip the rest of the school day and come over to my place and play house with me.
I doubt she will come because she is something of a goody 2 shoes, even thought she's a cheerleader she's not what i expected. I figured most Jr cheerleader's are hot, fast asses, who screw their boyfriends brains out all day and night but she's nothing like the cheerleader's in the movies. I thought most of them were stuck up, fast asses, and that that was the kind of girlfriend i wanted but she is a wonderful girl with a lot of smart ideals and she can talk about anything. I like to think of myself as being able to talk about anything so its nice finding someone with a lot of my interests. Which is damn never everything.
Last week they put up the brick that i suggested about the guy who was killed in the car crash. The newspaper showed it and i guess i made such a fuss about them not crediting me for the ideal that the schools newspaper wrote that i suggested it....ha.ha.ha
What the fuck diaryboy, if i don't toot my own horn, who will?
NO ONE, that's who.
I has also suggested we bury a time capsule in the new wall in front of the school and i have until Friday to decide what i want to contribute. The school selected 5 students from each grade to pick things to bury into the foundation of that part of the wall and to be dugged up 100 years from today. I think that too damn much time. It should have been 50 years from now because some of us might still be alive in 50 years, while i doubt that we will be alive in 100 years. Yes medicine is doing some great things and curing many things but i doubt anyone will want to extend peoples lives.
What the fuck; this world can only hold so many of us, so why keep a bunch of old ass, senior citizens alive past their working ask.
