2005-08-15 - 12:43 p.m.
Last night I got caught out in the most hellish thunderstorm i have even seen in my life.
My first mistake was riding my bike to the movies where i hooked up with this girl name Doreen, who i knew from school but who has added 2 sizes to her chest since i last saw in June.
Its like that old R+B song on one of moms tapes, which goes something like:
It must have broke your poor little heart,
when the boys used to say you look better in the dark.
Homey girl, use to be lonely, your a beautiful women.
Or something like that. Lucky for me i used to talk to her, at least that's what she said.
I can remember asking her if she had an extra pen but i can't saying much else to her. Her face was covered with pimples and her hair and clothes were always unkept. She was a fucking mess. But i guess when your a homely girl, a stud like me asking for a pen means something special. I wonder if she had sexual day dreams about me.
Anyway i didn't recognize her when she said hi to me at that pizza place, but i did notice her torpedo tits. They were sticking out right at me.
After talking to her for about a minute she said, you don't remember me do you? I didn't until she said that, then i realized who she was.
I sat with her and her friend and we decided to all go see the movie FOUR BROTHERS, which was pretty good. Although i do think the director are whomever should have had the bad guys gang member remind him how he had him eat off the floor and the other about his saying he was gonna have to share his girlfriend gonna be wife with him, when they betrayed him.
On that site they wrote these plans that me and the other so called dogs use to get laid.
Mines was having girls come by the house and showing them around. It said that i showed off my house, the pool, the lake and the pocketful of money i'm suppose to carry around all the time.
So i've decided not to have girls come over to pick me up and instead of taking a taxi which i wish i would have done, i decided it wasn't as hot as its been so i would ride my bike to the movies, i figured if i got lucky and could maybe have a chance at getting laid i would lock it up in the woods behind the movies and pick it up sometime today.
I did charm Doreen and her friends when during one scene one bad guy asked WHO was gonna be the first to come at him, and i yelled out. I'll come over there and kick your ass. EVERYONE LAUGHED, just as the movie was nearing it ending and Mark whateverhisnameis was talking to these kids playing in the street, someone yelled out, what girl your trying to dog today DI-NO-BOY, and then a bunch of people from where that shit came from started making this barking sounds. I was pissed, i hate people thinking that i'm out to dog any girls, i don't need to dog any girls, i have been at least 85%- to 100% honest with every girl i have even know.
Only a fool is honest 100% all the time. You will never get laid being 100% honest or maybe you will get laid but its got to be in the low 40% of the time. If you want to hit the shit you got to have some game and having game means saying what the girl wants to hear not what you really want to say. You don't tell a girl her hair looks like shit, you say it looks nice.
Your not gonna be screwing her hair!
I could see who the haters were and it didn't mess me up. It was raining pretty hard when we got out of the movies and Doreen offered me ride home but Kenny and some other guys from school were hangout around outside waiting for the rain to slow so they could get to their cars, so i decided to hang there and wait the rain out.
Kenny left and after about 20 minutes the next crowd of people coming out of the movie was waiting with me for the rain to slowed down.
My bike was locked up wet. Now i like rainy days, and i don't even mind getting soaked after the fucking hot ass humid summer we have had so far, but the rain was cold and the thunder was banging and the motherfucking LIGHTING seemed like it was strong enough to light up the whole damn world.
I decided that the only way to get the 5 or so miles home in that hellstorm was for me to get going so i took off pedaling as fast as i could praying that i don't get struck by lighting, i was riding on a road covered with tall tress, just the place lighting loves to hit, and one big ass bold of flashing, bright ass hell, lighting bolt hit the ground in the woods about 1/2 mile from where i was, i could see lighting flashing when it hit the ground. I was scared shitless.
Moms was pissed when i pulled up to the house soak like a toad, i hadn't taken my cell phone and she was scared of what might happen to me, she said i should have taken a taxi or called her. That i could have been killed by a lighting bold. She had been watching it over our big screen tv which is connected to the security camera that overlooked the sky above the Crest manor and had a great neverending view of the sky.
Moms turned the light out and we munched on popcorn and whoooooed every big ass earth destroying flash of lighting.
She had been recording the storm on the VCR, it was a great ideal. i wondered why i didn't think of it during other storms, but or course none of the other storms ever came close to ending the world as this one did. It was fucking exciting hearing the thunder and then seeing the big flashes of lighting far way.
We watched that fucking mad, bad ass strom until 11pm, i was up at about 12am when i realized i hadn't heard any thunder and looking and listening, realized that it had stopped. It was the most exciting, explosive, damnear end of the world storm i have ever seen and i am glad i did take my bike and witness it by being right in it.
DINOBOY
